Lost and Found

I mis-spoke last week.  I have had two previous "guest bloggers."  One was my dad and the other was my mom...and they were essentially writing to each other via the blog.  

Tonight is, in fact, the FIRST guest blogger who is a) not related to me and b) allowed to chose a topic of her own.  

I am honored to present:

Lost and Found

by Angela Turner Rabke

I hate, hate, hate to lose things.  As a result, I keep a written tally of lost items in the “notes” section of my iPhone.   If I lose my iPhone, no worries!  The list is seared permanently into my cerebral cortex, and I’ll just add them to a new list in my new iPhone with, of course, the missing phone added to “the list.”

The list begins with a little gold ring I lost in second grade.  Backyard, jungle gym.  It was real gold!  With a little purple amethyst butterfly.  I KNOW it is still lurking about, and THAT is why it’s still on the list.  Whenever we are at my mom’s house, I stare at the dirt in her yard, willing it into existence.  Most recently, I lost a pair of black Spanx. No doubt, this is the most troubling item on my list.  I keep waiting for my kids’ teachers to send them home in a lunchbox with a funny note, but no.  My control undergarments have disappeared.

I suppose my ability to keep track of things, to maintain order—somehow translates to control.  If I don’t lose material things, surely I won’t lose my mind, right?  But what does it mean when we lose an idea, or a dream, or a direction?

Right now, I have two jobs in two different buildings, with two different dress codes, and two job descriptions that don’t exactly resemble what I visualized back when I was making these big ‘ole epic decisions about Life (which meant the same thing as Career at the time).  So as I wade through this non-traditional work situation, I occasionally bemoan the lost twenty-something me.  That girl had a promising enough career in a “cool” industry, well-defined professional goals, lots of time for happy hours, and a fairly presentable business casual wardrobe.  I mean, I had HUGE plans to be a major badass.  

Sometimes it’s easy for me to focus on the lost badass, which is why it’s important to be cognizant of what I found on my road not taken:  a mess of good opportunity that could be patched together into my today career, my part-time career, the career that matches right now.  Because the truth is—I don’t really want to be the girl that I meant to be way back then.  This is okay.  I want to be a cool wife, a sweet mommy, and I do want to do well professionally.  As it turns out, I do wish for more happy hours, but when I give myself the space to have gratitude for this schedule, I realize that I’m going to have lots of time again in a few short years.  And I will probably hate it.

If I had more time, I would talk about other big losses-the loss of old friends, the loss of tightly held beliefs, or the loss of firmness in my backside. But what it really all boils down to is perspective.  It’s something I’ve misplaced many times, but I pray that I never lose it.

Angela, Cypress and Meriwether
Angela IS, in fact, a very cool wife, a very sweet mommy, a wonderfully professional "professional" and many, many, many other things...not the least of which is a total BADASS!  I am honored she took time out of her hectic daily schedule to contribute to Fete. The best part is I get to pay her back in bottles of wine we will no doubt enjoy together!  Many thanks, dear friend!

Buananotte stella, asciugacapelli!

Today marked the end of an era...of a deep, intimate relationship.  Halfway through drying my hair the room went dark, Gilmore Girls came to an abrupt hault, the ceiling fan went silent.  All that could be heard was a small "boom"; all that could be felt was a small pop on my arm.  In desperation I ran downstairs to the breaker box thingee and flipped the un-flipped flipper switch a doodle.  I heard the television switch back on and saw the light illuminate.  Despite my apparent success, I knew what was facing me upstairs.  I gently cradled my hair dryer....moved the switch up, down, up down, up down....and nothing happened.  She didn't make it.   She was a casualty of me running one too many things this hot June day.

We first met in Italy.  I tend to keep my love life off the blog; but in this case I am willing to make an exception.  I was dating an officer in the Navy who was stationed in Naples.  (Side note...The Atlantic Ocean is waaaaaaay too long for a "long distance" relationship.  You might as well date a Martian.  Hang up your hopes honey...it will never work.  But, no, I am not bitter...I am a "realist!"  I love that don't you...when people call themselves "realists?"  Another topic for another day.)  

Anyhow...I met this gentleman in December, 2003.  My first visit to Naples (more accurately Pozzouli) was in March, 2004.  I asked him to purchase a hair dryer for me...thinking he would purchase one that would fit into the Italian outlets.  Apparently at the commissary they only sold American hair dryers and so...he purchased this lovely American Vidal Sasoon Ionizer.  We still had to plug it into the crazy converters he had laying all around his Italian home.  He really hadn't solved my problem at all...but it was a sweet gesture (from an otherwise very un-sweet human being) so I didn't complain.  Thank goodness I packed my travel converters with me so that as we travelled to Pisa, Florence, Rome, etc. I was able to dry my hair and look somewhat acceptable in photos.  You know the one...where I am single-handedly pushing the leaning Tower of Pisa back to it's once noble, straight stature.

8 years this hair dryer and I have been together.  EIGHT YEARS PEOPLE!  Hear me!  EIGHT YEARS!  Prior to that I would burn out hair dryers in less than a year, if even that long.  

I often anticipated the demise of this particular hair dryer.  Oddly...she never gave out on me.  Sometimes I would tell her she was sinister for hanging in my life so long...as an ugly reminder of the WORST TWO WEEKS OF MY LIFE.  (Yes...unfortunately they were spent in Italy.  I know, I know...I need a do over...right?)  Other times I would gently remember she never left me...not even through the worst times.  

She's been with me to Europe, Denver, Los Angeles, Scottsdale, Santa Fe, Palm Springs, Destin, Savannah, Charleston, Kiawah Island, Cozumel, Jamaica, Tahoe, Grand Cayman Islands and just about every inch of Texas I can imagine.  

She made me pretty for some of the BEST dates I have ever had.  She loved me even when I ignored her for weeks on end in my silent little protests of "straight hair,"....God don't make no junk and this hair is NATURALLY WAV-O-RAMA!  

Replacing her will not be easy.  The last 8 years have ushered in a number of new follicle technologicals.  There are so many questions to ask....so many questions to be answered.  I mean...do those expensive contraptions made by Chi actually dry your hair faster?  And then there is the question of investment?  Will I be so lucky as to have anther hair dryer that lasts eight years...I mean will I get the return that I got on my mean ex-boyfriend's money?  

And so...yes...to you, dear hair dryer, I drank that small shot of Makers Mark in your honor and nearly breathed out fire...but it was worth it.  Thank you for your steadfast, consistent service.  You were the last vestige of that horrible time in my life.  Perhaps putting you to rest can also lay those ugly memories to rest...once and for all.  

Buonanotte stella, asciugacapelli.

And you can tell everybody this is your song,

It may be quite simple...but now that it's done,

I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind that I put down in words,

How wonderful life is while you're in the world.

-Elton John

Lyrics by: Elton John and Bernie Taupin

Aqua is my Signature Color, Mama

I am so loving the direction Fete is moving towards!

Now I have a sign off signature that reminds me just a wee bit of the sparkl-y-ness of Bewitched.  Now if I could only twinkle my nose and have dinner on the table for Der-wood!  

Do y'all love it too?  

Coming soon:  Inaugural "Guest Blogger" Section!  Here's a hint:  The Guest Blogger is an incredibly civic minded, community loving, hybrid owning, sustainability promoting, woman of faith with a beautiful gift of words; both spoken and written.

Signing off now....

Day Trippin'

Ciara, Ella, Jace', Mary Gertrude and I "day-tripped" to Blanco State Park today!  It is a perfect "middle point" between San Antonio and Dripping Springs.  It costs four dollars per person and you can enjoy the park until 10pm.  Pets are allowed...obviously...but are required to stay on a leash and NOT enter the river...an edict that "Bella's" parents clearly violated which had me fuming.  If MY child has to abide by the rules...SO DO YOURS!  But...I digress.

We find a comfy spot right along the banks of the river under three old pines.  The entrance point into the river was just steps from our spot and so we took turns getting in and out of the water.  

Note: Take water shoes if you plan to get in the river.  The shallow part is rocky and the rocky surfaces are VERY slippery.

This day-trip definitely delivered and I think I spent less than 15 dollars!  And that makes me smile even bigger.  

On Demand

I had every intention of grabbing Jace' and forcing her to The Bijou to watch this movie with me.  Truth be told...Jace' and I have VERY different taste in movies.  But, she's a great friend and was willing to "take one for this team" and watch a movie where Jane Fonda plays a war-hating hippie.  Hmmmm....truth in art?

Anyhow...imagine my delight to learn Peace, Love and Misunderstanding is On-Demand.  I was able to watch it "in the comfort of my own home."  Many benefits:  Jace' does not have to watch a chick flick, it is WAAAAAY less expensive and I can cry with no shame...OUT LOUD!

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The story line isn't anything revolutionary.  Hippie mother raises up-tight, Republican, attorney daughter and they are estranged for 20 years because the daughter disapproves of her mother's various "behaviors."  (Mother sells weed at daughter's wedding; daughter has mother arrested...you know how it goes.)  Anyhow...up-tight daughter now faces divorce from up-tight husband and doesn't know where to go for healing.  She heads up to Woodstock, NY(teenage children in tow)...yes, THE Woodstock...where her mother Grace, played by Fonda is something of a legend.  "Dylan" apparently loved her...although we are unsure if it is the "Bob" or the "Thomas!"

I enjoyed the film...mostly because I am a current love affair with the notion of transformation and EVERYONE in this movie is facing a conflict.  I don't think the reviews were stellar, by any means, but it is a feel good movie with a soundtrack that cut me to the bone.  

To wavy hair, barking at the full moon, feeding your chickens, growing your own (a-hem) veggies, skinny dipping and Grateful Dead....

Take a load off Fanny*

Take a load for free

Take a load of Fanny*

And you put the load right on me.

-The Band

Lyrics by: Robbie Roberston

*After many searches there is definite debate of if they are singing, "Anny," "Annie," or "Fanny."  Would LOVE the real answer to this.....

Living in the Why?

I am feeling a little punchy this morning.

I was wide awake at 5.30 am.  Summer vacation hours were apparently not enforced this morning.  I literally stayed in bed and let my mind roam to some pretty dark places for about two hours.  I got up, walked around and wondered out loud, "What can I do?"  I gave up and climbed back into my snuggly bed with my snuggly dog for another torturous hour.  

In fairness...I received some rather unsavory news yesterday.  My air conditioning unit needs to be euthanized.  It's just time.  Apparently the coil needs to go down with it.  Good news is the furnace is still alive and kicking.  I think I was restless with anticipation of their arrival and the imminent financing that would come with this purchase...though I am blessed to be able to set that worry off for a while...it is still a worry.  In addition to that, I am pretty sure my Gracie cat, my first official child, is facing her last days.  And on top of that, my little Mary Gertrude woke up throwing up blood.  Oh...and then there is the gnat infestation that red wine vinegar and honey only moderately mitigate.  

In terms of mindful, celebratory, positive living....I FAILED EPICALLY THIS MORNING.  Three hours wasted on why Burger broke up with Carrie on a Post It Note...(that is another post for another day)...three hours wasted on ONE WORD..."WHY?"  And I applied that word to about one thousand, million, katrillion kajillion different scenarios in my life.  "Why, why, why, why, but...ugh, WHY?"  Oh...and then it got better.  I added a word.  I added, "Not."  "WHY NOT?"  "Why the hell not?"  No wonder my little eyes wouldn't shut.  

(Side note....right now Cat Steven's is telling me, "Oh baby, baby it's a wild world and it's hard to get by just upon a smile....and I'll always remember you like a child, girl."  The synchronicity is not lost on me.)

Are you ready...I then transitioned into "How can I?" Then came, "How am I ever going to blah, blah, blah?"  Then I circled back to Post It Notes.

And then this arrived in my Face book Inbox from a friend I have not seen, nor heard from, in years.  To Fred Solis...you will never know that you got me out of my own head this morning and forced me down memory lane.

This video was made by Jason Russell my junior year...apparently towards the end of the year.  While I only have a "cameo" appearance...walking down the halls of McAllen Memorial High School, standing at my locker, seeing Lisa at the Apple in the journalism room (our safe place) with posters of Morissey and Jane's Addition (Geeves...YOU RULED), Ramsey and her bandanna, the after school smoking ritual (notice I am missing), and Denellie give a kiss to the camera.  And there I am...immortalized (okay...dramatic embellishment) SINGING of all things (I do not sing in public EVER) on the Internet.  

I looked at that little girl with the wavy hair, excessive jewelry, painted fingernails and Yaga tee shirt.  How sweet is she?  She's a bit of a camera hog and likes to be the center of attention...but her heart is good.  Most importantly...her heart is whole.  The world is ahead of her...NOT behind her.  She knows what is next and what is next and what is next and what follows after that.  She does not live in "Why" or "How" or "Why Not?"  She lived in "Yes" and "Let's do it and have fun" and "Let's get scootin' to college."  She never spent three hours in bed beating herself up over what needs to be done, what hasn't been done, why this has been done or when is it going to get done.  

Sweet girl, I sit here...twenty years your senior.  Can I have you back?  

Lovely woman, all you have to do is ask.  She's still in there, stop being afraid to let her re-surface.  Those were the happiest years of your life.  But they don't have to be the only ones.  When the questions get too big, watch this video and remember the joy of just living!

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans to give you a hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

 -Chinese Proverb

Fishing guide: Pat Hunt's Fishing Guide Service

Pat Hunt is a gentle, kind man who is a throwback to humans of a better time.  The essence of a true gentleman he encouraged us to enjoy and be patient and his wisdom paid off...BIG TIME!  His is teaching his grandson how to fish and how to guide.  Our family HIGHLY recommends this gentleman if you are looking for a good guide and a successful trip!

Stars & Garters

San Antonio's longest running, and most revered, burlesque troupe presents their 2nd Annual Pride Extravaganza.  Stars and Garters Burlesque promises to deliver on an evening of gay icons, gay anthems, all things glitter and classic, sassy, sexy burlesque.  

Stars include: Suki Jones (pictured below), Foxxy Blue Orchid, Black Orchid, Miss-Chevious, Pystol Whips and Lucky Strike.  Special guests include: Googhee Gomez, Jasper St. James (Pastie Pops), Stephan and Ginger Snaps of Black Widow Burlesque.

The performance is Sunday, June 24, 2012 at The Sterling Houston Theater at Jump-Start.  The show begins 8pm.  

USE Me SA has signed on to provide sexy, effective, safe and healthy goodies to audience members.  In addition,  The San Antonio AIDS Foundation will be providing free, fast and confidential testing.

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Tickets can be purchased at Stars and Garters Burlesque.

If you have never seen burlesque up close and in person...I highly recommend joining in on the fun!  

On Travel

"Travel doesn't have to be some dreamlike and foreign destination.  It can take you on an evening stroll through a distant forest or to a park bench in a town a hundred miles from your home.  What matters is that you have left the comfort of the familiar and opened yourself to a world that is totally apart from your own." -Kent Nerburn from Simple Truths

SA Blogging Scene

Last night between catching up on thank you notes, addressing Father's day cards and messing with my new (not really...just "new" as in "fresh out of the box") Crosley turntable I managed to squeeze in a little blog surfing.  One of my favorite blogs, Not Going Postal, which I know to be local, shared about the SA blog community's trip to play with sting rays at Sea World earlier in the day.

"What," I grumbled.  "I want in on the SA blog community sting ray day of fun!"  I immediately wrote a message to the author of Not Going Postal and she responded very quickly!  Yay!  She included me in their Facebook group and I introduced myself, and Fete, to them last night.  The group has been most welcoming and it looks like everyone works together for the greater good of the San Antonio community!

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For my mommy friends...check out this San Antonio Mom Blogs!  Not only is there a host of suggestions on a variety of mom-topics, there is a comprehensive list of other local bloggers whose focus is often on parenting and specific to our local community!

I am extremely excited to participate in this community and meet other like minded individuals...who like "living out loud," sharing what they know and casting their musings across the seemingly infinite space of the world wide web.  

Lorelai: ...just make sure you wait for the  right moment.

Rory: Oh the right moment is now.  The right moment arrived in a big pink hat full of feathers, screaming, "Notice me, because I am here!"

Lorelai: Well, if it was wearing a hat....

I've been spending some time down town lately and I have parked in the P-A-R-K Lot (as my friend, Jace' lovingly refers to ALL lots with the work "park" in them) across the street from the bus stop and catty corner (?)/kitty corner (?) from Bill Miller BBQ.  In the elevator lobby areas on each level...this is the art work adorning the floor.  I love it!  The moment I saw it...I heard Steven Tyler SCREAM in my ear..."Well just give me a kiss...LIKE THIS!"  

I love these little cultural gems!  Despite living in this town since 1997...I have never had the pleasure of coming across this quirky adornment to a rather benign structure.  Makes me happy to park and not at ALL upset that I had to write an 8 dollar check to the city for two hours worth of parking!

Happy Sunday, friends!  Off to vacay tomorrow.  Depending on the level of energy...I may or may NOT post for the week!