Thursday, June 28, 2012

Buananotte stella, asciugacapelli!

Today marked the end of an era...of a deep, intimate relationship.  Halfway through drying my hair the room went dark, Gilmore Girls came to an abrupt hault, the ceiling fan went silent.  All that could be heard was a small "boom"; all that could be felt was a small pop on my arm.  In desperation I ran downstairs to the breaker box thingee and flipped the un-flipped flipper switch a doodle.  I heard the television switch back on and saw the light illuminate.  Despite my apparent success, I knew what was facing me upstairs.  I gently cradled my hair dryer....moved the switch up, down, up down, up down....and nothing happened.  She didn't make it.   She was a casualty of me running one too many things this hot June day.

We first met in Italy.  I tend to keep my love life off the blog; but in this case I am willing to make an exception.  I was dating an officer in the Navy who was stationed in Naples.  (Side note...The Atlantic Ocean is waaaaaaay too long for a "long distance" relationship.  You might as well date a Martian.  Hang up your hopes will never work.  But, no, I am not bitter...I am a "realist!"  I love that don't you...when people call themselves "realists?"  Another topic for another day.)  

Anyhow...I met this gentleman in December, 2003.  My first visit to Naples (more accurately Pozzouli) was in March, 2004.  I asked him to purchase a hair dryer for me...thinking he would purchase one that would fit into the Italian outlets.  Apparently at the commissary they only sold American hair dryers and so...he purchased this lovely American Vidal Sasoon Ionizer.  We still had to plug it into the crazy converters he had laying all around his Italian home.  He really hadn't solved my problem at all...but it was a sweet gesture (from an otherwise very un-sweet human being) so I didn't complain.  Thank goodness I packed my travel converters with me so that as we travelled to Pisa, Florence, Rome, etc. I was able to dry my hair and look somewhat acceptable in photos.  You know the one...where I am single-handedly pushing the leaning Tower of Pisa back to it's once noble, straight stature.

8 years this hair dryer and I have been together.  EIGHT YEARS PEOPLE!  Hear me!  EIGHT YEARS!  Prior to that I would burn out hair dryers in less than a year, if even that long.  

I often anticipated the demise of this particular hair dryer.  Oddly...she never gave out on me.  Sometimes I would tell her she was sinister for hanging in my life so an ugly reminder of the WORST TWO WEEKS OF MY LIFE.  (Yes...unfortunately they were spent in Italy.  I know, I know...I need a do over...right?)  Other times I would gently remember she never left me...not even through the worst times.  

She's been with me to Europe, Denver, Los Angeles, Scottsdale, Santa Fe, Palm Springs, Destin, Savannah, Charleston, Kiawah Island, Cozumel, Jamaica, Tahoe, Grand Cayman Islands and just about every inch of Texas I can imagine.  

She made me pretty for some of the BEST dates I have ever had.  She loved me even when I ignored her for weeks on end in my silent little protests of "straight hair,"....God don't make no junk and this hair is NATURALLY WAV-O-RAMA!  

Replacing her will not be easy.  The last 8 years have ushered in a number of new follicle technologicals.  There are so many questions to many questions to be answered.  I those expensive contraptions made by Chi actually dry your hair faster?  And then there is the question of investment?  Will I be so lucky as to have anther hair dryer that lasts eight years...I mean will I get the return that I got on my mean ex-boyfriend's money?  

And you, dear hair dryer, I drank that small shot of Makers Mark in your honor and nearly breathed out fire...but it was worth it.  Thank you for your steadfast, consistent service.  You were the last vestige of that horrible time in my life.  Perhaps putting you to rest can also lay those ugly memories to rest...once and for all.  

Buonanotte stella, asciugacapelli.

And you can tell everybody this is your song,
It may be quite simple...but now that it's done,
I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind that I put down in words,
How wonderful life is while you're in the world.
-Elton John
Lyrics by: Elton John and Bernie Taupin


  1. Now we really have to get together somwe can talk Pozzuoli! I was born there and go back to visit relatives.

    Sorry about your hair dryer. I have never had one last that long!

  2. Susie told me about Pozzouli! I then told her the saga of what made that trip SOOOOO awful. I went twice and BOTH times were really unpleasant....due to the company I was in....NOT the country I was in, obviously! But...if not for the terrible relationship...I would not have seen soooooo much of Italy. So....there is, in fact, always a silver lining!